Escape Competition

This thought was inspired by a run and a conversation with two of the best, Bradley Dryburgh and Joey Plumb. This is one of those conversations you wish was documented because there was so much gold, a lot of laughs and an abundance of wisdom which is what led me to write about one of the sentiments that meant a lot to me about how to find the right vehicle to follow your purpose.

I read today that you’re better off being an irrational optimist, rather than a rational cynic and I think there’s some substance to this thought that I wanted to unpack in relation to my speaking and what I do. In order to do this I have to take you back to the early days of my speaking career. I began as a timid and painfully awkward speaker with little self belief because I never thought I was qualified and that I didn’t deserve to have the attention of the people sitting in front of me. The rational cynic in me was telling me that the speaking industry is crowded, there’s no shortage of people who are inspirational, motivational figures who are incredible at what they do, why should I have the confidence to stand up and share my thoughts?

Although I had opportunities to share my story and there was clearly an interest in having me speak at events, I felt like a complete fraud. I always thought that the only reason anyone would listen to me is because I had this cool story about a shark attack. I didn't think I was much good with words, I wasn't charismatic and I didn't have any life changing advice or strategies that people could walk away with and suddenly they could see the world the way I do.

These thoughts impacted the way I was presenting, I would stay in my shell and wouldn’t experiment because I was afraid of things going sideways and ruining any shred of credibility I thought I had in the space. The approach was, if I do something wrong, there’s always going to be someone else who will come in and take my spot and my opportunities. Although this is a destructive and negative thought, it did have one positive associated with it - It showed me that I cared.

Although it terrified me to get up on stage (it still does) and I still had this self doubt, I knew that I was in a position that I’d never been in before. I had an opportunity to use this thing that I’d been given (the engaging story of a shark attack) that had the potential to help other people and I knew I cared about using this opportunity to make a difference. The question then became, what can I do to overcome these thoughts so I can make speaking a viable thing that I could do long term?

This is a good question that led to a lot of reflection and self awareness. The more I thought about it, the more I acknowledged the facts. It was easy for me to find the cons; I'm not good at remembering who said what quotes, I don't refer to heaps of material outside of my own little world and I sure don't back myself to research and remember a myriad of stats that I always thought were the key in a successful presentation. All of these are relevant but there was one major pro that got me to step back and look at how I was approaching my speaking that I think can be effectively and ironically explained through this one quote:

"Escape competition through authenticity"

Yes; stats, quotes and anecdotes do help add credibility in certain situations but for me to realise how to be the best speaker I could be, I simply had to be myself. When I'm authentic to myself, I feel more comfortable with what I'm saying and when I'm familiar with that, I feel more at home on stage.

It sounds very simple and It's always a work in progress but I take a lot of solace in knowing that no-one else is better than me at being me. Thus, escaping any thoughts of comparison or competition that held me back for so long. What is unique to you and makes you the person you are? The answer to that could change your life.

Now, going back to my first statement, I’m not saying that being an irrational optimist is absolutely the best way to be, in fact there’s a middle ground somewhere there that is probably where you want to aim. But the rational cynic in me always prevented me from recognising the true strength I had all along that was already obviously striking a chord with a number of people I spoke to regardless of how I felt. Being able to turn this around and adopting a new approach has helped me not only grow my speaking but has helped me be more comfortable within myself in all other aspects of life and is something that I’m sure everyone could learn from.