Dream Scene
Filming one of my favourite scenes for #AttackingLifeFilm which visualises the dream I had in-between being airlifted form the beach and waking up in hospital. While this is only a small part of the film, it was something I really wanted to include because it symbolises such an important part of my journey.
The dream itself was a depiction of my recovery. From waking up in hospital, to learning what had happened, to taking my first steps again and making progress towards what felt like a vague goal of getting my old self back. The reason this dream occurred is as a result of the painkillers paramedics had given me which are known to give patients quite vivid experiences which is definitely something that sticks out to me. While some of the settings were not 100% accurate, the process of going through the recovery felt like it was so real. So much so that when I eventually woke up in hospital it took me a minute to actually come to terms with the fact that it was a dream and that I now had to do it all again.
The reason this dream was so significant to me based on my own reflection is that it let me know there was a way in which I could potentially overcome this huge obstacle that was now standing in my way. It’s difficult to put into words but there's a certain comfort in knowing you've been in a situation before (even if it was just a dream in this case) because we do find comfort in familiarity.
I know it's difficult to take solace the old cliche that things happen for a reason and I truly don't know where I stand on this. I like to consider myself a pretty rational person but there's certain parts of my experience (like this dream) that feel beyond rational thinking and tend to point to something more spiritual. This leads me to think that at some stage it's up to the individual to take what they want from their own experience and that’s what makes all of these stories of people overcoming adversity so interesting.
On one hand I have people hear my story and say all of the things you’d expect along the lines of resilience, perseverance and the good old “you’re meant to be here” but I know that’s not true of everyone. Whilst I agree with those sentiments in my own world I know there are others out there who have been through similarly life changing experiences who view it differently. I don’t think there’s a correct way to process or come to terms with these things that happen in life because there are too many small variables that could potentially influence the outlook of myself or someone else.
What if I sustained more damage? What if I couldn’t walk again? There’s so many potential scenarios that could influence my perception but I can only really react to the reality that is in front of me. There was something strange about that dream that gave me a sense of calm in such a chaotic time and I wonder if others may have experienced something similar. Perhaps I’ll have to try to find someone and introduce them to my Journal interviews to add to this perspective one day.